Radical acceptance for daily annoyances

When small things go wrong—spilled coffee, traffic jams, stubbed toes—we often think “this shouldn’t be happening!” Psychologist Patricia Zurita Ona suggests a better way, based on a therapy method called ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) that separates unavoidable pain (the actual problem) from avoidable pain (getting upset about it). Her three-step approach: Notice what you’re feeling in your body (tight stomach, racing heart). Name it: “I’m frustrated.” Ask yourself: “Will my reaction serve me later on or help me live the way I want to live?” This isn’t about liking what happened — just not making it worse by fighting reality. — MF