This episode of the Tim Ferris podcast with Psychotherapist Esther Perel was very timely and enlightening. Perel shares templates for navigating the tactically challenging situations that relationships might be facing at this moment in time, as well as phrases for deepening the conversation with loved ones. For example, with those who are prone to answering “great” when you ask how they are doing, a good follow up question would be “how are you sleeping?” This is a wake-up call for me because I am one of those people who feels like I am not allowed to complain when there is a lot to be grateful for, but in her words, “You can feel humble, you can feel thankful to things, but you can’t feel great in this moment because if you’re feeling great in this moment, you’re detached. You’re disconnected.” And that warrants a moment of acknowledgement. Another tip I pulled from this that was inspired by a past episode with Brené Brown was to each morning give your partner a heads up of where your emotional/energy level is at with a percentage of how full your tank is. So if I don’t sleep well or am feeling cranky, I will let my husband know I’m at 20%, so please tread lightly. — CD
One of our cats is getting too old to comfortably hop into our Clevercat litter box, so I needed to get a litterbox with a low profile so she could easily get in and out of. I ended up buying this one (Pet Mate 42036 Arm & Hammer Large Sifting Litter Pan) that has a plastic screen so you can clean the litter without a scoop. It works surprisingly well! – MF
I’ve had this book (Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chödrön) for years but find myself pulling it off the shelf more in the last month than ever before. You don’t need to be a meditation expert or Buddhist to appreciate the message. Each chapter is a short lesson in self-compassion and awareness, designed to make you comfortable with uncertainty. It is one of those books you can open to any page and find wisdom. There is a Kindle version, but I think it belongs in everyone’s library. — CD
We are all Zooming, Skyping, Webexing, Google hanging. Nothing will increase the quality of a video conference better than having a good mic pointed at everyone’s mouth. The least expensive way to get a good mic is with a headset. Lightweight ones don’t have to look dorky. It’s what I use. Which headset should you get today? Matt Mullenweg, founder of Wordpress, whose entire 900-person company has worked remotely for a decade, outdid Wirecutter in trying out and testing all USB headsets. He posted his work and recommendations here on his blog post, Don’t Mute. — KK
I work best if my office room temperature is at least 74 degrees Fahrenheit or more (and I can’t be the only one, read: “Women want the office to be warmer. Science now backs them up”). The days of arguing with my husband over the thermostat are over, because I bought myself this AmazonBasics mini heater ($20), and now this perfect-sized, 500-watt heater sits on top of my desk and keeps me warm while I work, and this is my favorite thing right now. — CD
Some folks such as journalists, activists, tech executives, crypto fans, and politicians may need more online security beyond the already strong 2-factor authentication they should be using. Google offers an Advance Protection Program for the legitimately paranoid. — KK
There’s a lot of back-and-forth about the effectiveness of facemasks to prevent the spread of Covid-19. The ragmask is one you can make on your own by following the PDF instructions. It looks more comfortable than wrapping a bandana around your face. — MF
These are just a few words of advice that I had saved, which have become much more meaningful to me lately:
“If all you did was just looked for things to appreciate, you would live a joyously spectacular life.” ― Esther Abraham Hicks
“Let go or be dragged.” — Zen Proverb
“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.” — Glennon Doyle Melton
“"No.” is a complete sentence.“ — Unknown
This blog post served as a nudge to remind me that my computer is a tool, not a distraction device, and had some good strategies for making the most of my screen time. Like, “Full Screen is your Friend,” and you don’t need time tracking software to help you focus on a task, just use a sticky note. Write down what you need to focus on and put it on your monitor where you can see it, and only use your computer with that specific purpose in mind. It’s fool-proof. — CD
Now that we are stuck at home, we have a lot more time to relax at home. My family of four is using the living room together in the evenings. My wife does a crossword puzzle and my two daughters and I sketch. At the same time, we listen to a terrific old radio drama series called Suspense. Archive.org has 911 episodes, which may or may not last until the stay-at-home order is lifted, depending on how many episodes we listen to each night. — MF
SketchUp is a general-purpose 3D design software for makers that is free in its basic version, and is very popular. There are dozens of other programs for precision parts, or organic shapes, but SketchUp scales nicely between 3D printing to woodworking to architecture, and is super easy to learn. By far the best tutorial on how to learn SketchUp (a skill transferable to most other 3D apps) is this free YouTube series, SketchUp Tutorial by April Wilkerson. She is an ace teacher, with the kind of practical hints I needed. — KK
I recommend this long movie for a stay-at-home visit to India. This 2009 Bollywood hit is called 3 Idiots (a better title would be 3 Renegades) and was the all-time bestselling movie in India in its time. Besides being fun and campy, almost a parody of a bollywood hit, it is a brilliant depiction of the ongoing tension between tradition and innovation in this most populous country on the planet. Here’s what a billion young Indians are contending with. Although it is almost 3 hours long, I’ve seen it three times. This version on Amazon Prime is in Hindi. You need to turn CC on for subtitles. — KK
I recently conducted an interview in Zoom with over 200 people in the audience, and a colleague who watched later told me I should not be Zooming to a large audience with my bedroom in the background. But instead of moving my computer set up, I bought this a Webaround Portable Greenscreen It’s a 56-inch circular chair-mounted background and it works perfectly with Zoom’s Virtual Background setting. You can use any photo as your background. Here’s a before and after photo of me without and with the greenscreen. — MF
My inbox has an abundance of newsletters and emails with advice for the current situation, as does my newsfeed. I feel connected, grateful and overwhelmed. Here are the links I found most helpful and am happy to share:
Giant list of shared ideas for quarantine/social distancing with kids
20 journaling prompts I swear by to get you out of your head
How to Not Let the Coronavirus Steal Your Mental Health While You’re At Home (This was emailed to me by my therapist who got it from a professional/therapist networking online group and was told that it could be shared) — CD
This deep stretch for hips YouTube video by Sara Beth Yoga is 20 minutes long, but flows so well and it’s easy to follow on my phone. It’s relaxing, rewarding and always helps me get rid of the tightness in my hips. — CD
3M Scotch Tear By Hand Packaging Tape looks like ordinary packaging tape. The difference is that you can tear off pieces by hand, instead of having to use scissors or the serrated edge on a dispenser. I started using it years ago and it’s worth the extra price in the safety (no more ripped finger skin) and convenience I gain. — MF
YouTube is way underrated as an educational institution. You can learn literally anything, including how to do surgery. The challenge is the uneven quality of the average video. One solution is YouTube’s own channel called The Learning Playlist. YouTube hired experts to curate the best learning videos they could find on a particular subject, and make a playlist for it, all on one channel. I am a happy subscriber. It’s also a good place to begin a search for how to study for a test, to how to organize a community group, and so on. — KK
Hand Mirror is a one-click camera check (free, Mac only). If you are about to join a Zoom or other video meeting, just click the icon on your menu bar and make sure you look presentable before you go live. — MF
In these dark times I need a little lightness, I need some humor, I need a bit of inspiration. I need Inspirobot. Inspirobot is an AI that generates inspirational quotes set on an inspirational photo — you know those posters. Because it is a dumb AI, it generates a lot of nonsense. But every fifth one is foolish in an unconventional way, which is the root of humor. It borders on profundity. Just keep clicking. — KK
I’ve used Hotwire to book hotel rooms. On the plus side, they have good deals, on the minus side, you don’t know which hotel you are reserving until after you’ve paid the non-refundable fee. But here’s a video on “How ANYONE Can Get 50% Off Hotels” that shows you how to find out which hotel HotWire is offering before you commit. — MF