This free website app lets you design a map to visualize your life in weeks. It’s pretty self-explanatory and easy to use, you just need to create a free account to save it. I’m still working on mine, adding moves, jobs, and relationships, but as I build it and preview it, I feel a mix of emotions that is both sobering and inspirational for the second half of my life. — CD

These affirmations support growth at every stage of life, starting with the prenatal, and are designed to be used across your entire lifespan. Many of these messages were not expressed to me as a child, but I am using them now as a way to "reparent" myself. You can speak them to yourself, write them down and carry them with you, or express them through the way you speak, touch, and interact with the people you love, especially when they need support. The one I’m working on right now is: “You can say your hellos and goodbyes to people, roles, dreams, and decisions.” — CD

A friend shared this guide of bite-sized tips that blend Japanese cultural wisdom and practical life hacks. Examples:

• Always follow the rules: Japan loves rules. Suffocating? Yes, but it makes the machine run smoothly. “People love to follow rules here,” Tokyo-based producer Kaori Oyama says. “It can be tiring, but at the same time it means that generally you know what to expect.”

• Enjoy the silence: Tokyo might be home to nearly 14 million people, but apart from the jingles you’ll hear at the train stations and in the convenience stores, it can be surprisingly quiet. “Very few people speak on the trains,” says Mr Paul McInnes, senior editor of Tokyo Weekender magazine, who has lived in the city since 2000. “It’s a wonderful way to have some quiet space and think about your day.”

— MF

This collection of advice is compiled as the most powerful life hacks, and while I’ve heard a lot of it before, reading it all together is particularly impactful. It serves as a great reminder of the building blocks that make a life well lived. Here are my top five favorites from the longer list:

• If you’re about to take an emotion-induced action, wait 24 hours. Many relationships have been broken by actions taken in the heat of the moment. Don't fall into the trap.

• Never avoid hard conversations. When you avoid a hard conversation, you're taking on a debt that has to be repaid with interest at a date in the future…

• Make a rule to never think twice about investments in yourself. Books, quality food, fitness, and personal development all fit into this bucket. These investments pay dividends for a long time. Think about material purchases instead—wait 24 hours to complete an order to see if you still want it.

• When someone is going through hell, just saying “I’m with you” is the most powerful thing you can do. Advice, perspectives, or offers to help are minimally impactful. The notion that someone is with you is 10x more powerful. Be the “darkest hour friend” to those you love.

• John D. Rockefeller would take regular breaks from his notoriously demanding schedule to mill about in his garden—it was his personal escape. Find your "garden" and go there often. Practice stillness, flex the solitude muscle. Be bored for at least 15 minutes per day. It’s an unlock for creativity and mindfulness.

— CD

Someone on Reddit posted a visual to show the internal filters they use before speaking. However, I found the most valuable filtering advice in the comments:

1. Is this something that needs to be said?

2. Is this something that needs to be said by me?

3. Is this something that needs to be said by me right now?

I also agree with another comment that the simplest filter process is always: “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” Another one to add to the EQ toolkit is a filter I learned this year for therapeutic settings, which is simply to WAIT—Before you speak ask your Why Am I Talking? and reflect on your intentions.

— CD

I appreciated this Instagram post as a reminder that happiness or a happy ending does not necessarily mean getting what you wanted. When faced with challenges, I experience the most growth not by everything working out as I had hoped, but often by accepting situations and people just as they are. Acceptance also helps me discover a better, more resilient version of myself, one with a greater capacity to face obstacles. Some of the other possible happy endings listed are: finding yourself again, making new connections, and trusting yourself to take the next steps. — CD

Messages for Life are short, inspirational emails that have been brightening my days. They arrive only on weekday mornings and always contain a positive message, like reminders to slow down, relax, celebrate yourself, and play. These messages convey a lot of wisdom in a very natural and relatable way. They feel like love letters from the Universe. — CD

I recently came across a Reddit thread that asked, “What’s your ‘I can’t believe other people don’t do this’ hack?” Here are some tips I had never heard of before:

• I have a keyboard shortcut on all my devices where @@ automatically enters my email address.

• When you're cleaning up "goopy" stuff that can't be absorbed, use two flat stiff things like the edge of two pieces of cardboard and literally scoop it up.

• I am shocked at the number of people that don’t put their sheet sets in the matching pillow case for storage until use. It keeps it all together!

• Clean out your fridge before grocery shopping! Eliminates mystery Tupperware and always reminds you of something you need to pick up.

• When tech stops working and you need to “turn it off and back on again”, turn it off, and ALWAYS wait 10-15 seconds or more before turning it back on. This allows the capacitors inside holding the memory bits to fully discharge, and it allows the device to fully reset fresh.

• 2 colour matched £10 flower bouquets combined are normally more varied and bigger than a £20 bouquet.

Check out the entire thread here. — CD

I am working on a new book of my photography that has all the images arranged by color. That arrangement is surprisingly compelling and unleashes all kinds of new joys. This has made me very attentive to the idea of following a color. Rob Walker publishes a fantastic newsletter devoted to noticing things, called The Art of Noticing, and recently featured the concept of color walks, where you follow colors while walking, as a way of amplifying your ability to notice things. It really works. — KK

Vorfreude means “the pleasure of anticipation.” I learned it from Jono Hey’s excellent Sketchplanations newsletter. “The magic of vorfreude lies in how it stretches out the pleasure of any upcoming event or experience,” writes Jono. “Once I hit 'Confirm' to book a trip, it kicks off joy for months whenever I think about the trip.” — MF

Found on Reddit, here is a cute illustration of very polite and empathetic ways to decline social invitations. I typically respond with a combination of "thank you for thinking of me" and "I'm sorry I can't make it." If it's someone I definitely want to spend time with, I follow up with an invitation to meet up in the near future. — CD

Here is something everyone should have in their communication toolkit: “35 Phrases To Set Boundaries Firmly and Fairly”. This article provides practical phrases and advice on how to assertively set boundaries without causing unnecessary conflict. These phrases work in a wide range of scenarios, from dealing with children and family to workplace dynamics. Here are a few examples: 

• "I'm not available." - Helps establish off-hours and personal time boundaries.

• "I need you to help me." - Encourages teamwork and shared responsibility.

• "I don't agree." - Clearly states disagreement while remaining open to finding a mutual solution.

• "I understand you need my help, but I cannot work on this right now." - Balances empathy with personal limits.

• "I prefer not to discuss this topic with you. It makes me feel uncomfortable." - Protects emotional well-being by avoiding triggering subjects.

Note: Both of my recommendations this week were discovered in Matt Rutherford’s newsletter, 👓 Stuff—a weekly email crammed full of tips for a better life. If you love Recomendo, I highly recommend subscribing to Matt’s newsletter. — CD 

Compassion-Focused Therapy helps manage your threat system and activate your safeness system during stressful interactions with other people. The four main points are recognizing triggers, practicing mindfulness, using soothing techniques like rhythm breathing, and responding with compassion. For instance, when provoked, pause, breathe deeply, and express your feelings calmly to avoid escalating conflict. For more, read "How to take the high road" at Psyche. A shorter version: “Be polite to rude strangers – it’s oddly thrilling.” — MF

Sasha Chapin, author of All the Wrong Moves: A Memoir About Chess, Love, and Ruining Everything, recently wrote a list of 50 things he knows. Here are a few samples:

• I know that travel is valuable because most knowledge can’t be written down. The most crucial info about a society is how it feels to be there—the rhythms of street life, where and when people eat meals, how gender works. You can read a million things about Japan without knowing the bodily experience of walking around in a truly high-trust society, for example.

• I know that unless you are exceptionally good with ripostes, the best way to win a fight with an angry person on the internet is to not respond. They will look ridiculous fuming impotently on their own.

• I know how to peel ginger. Use a spoon. The first time you do this, you’ll feel like you’re Neo with a fresh brain full of downloaded kung fu skills.

— MF

The Library of Consciousness is a growing collection of writings, lectures and media about the human experience and all its mysteries. You don’t have to know what you’re looking for, just click around or search for keywords to navigate. It’s a source of inspiration. Right now, there are 200 authors in the library, and the curator says that they are actively seeking female and POC perspectives and welcomes recommendations. — CD

This article on “What Good Friends Look Like" prompted me to reflect on the qualities of my closest friendships. The author introduces Tim Urban’s “Does This Friendship Make Sense” Matrix, a framework for evaluating friendships by dividing them into four quadrants. Q1 friendships are both healthy and enjoyable, Q2 friendships are healthy but not enjoyable, Q3 friendships are enjoyable but not healthy, and Q4 friendships are neither healthy nor enjoyable. But the quicker method is Tim Urban’s Traffic Test — a metaphorical test where you and a friend are in a car together driving home. If you're hoping for traffic because you enjoy their company and conversation, they pass the test. If you encounter traffic and feel a sense of dread, they don't pass. I realized I might have a couple of those traffic-dread friendships, but that just inspires me to dig deeper into our conversations.  — CD

I love making resolutions and am never the least bit shameful or embarrassed if I pivot or don’t accomplish them. If you need inspiration for new resolutions, NPR put together their Life Kit expert guides and created a resolution planner for all the aspects of your life that you might want to improve or change this year. I was intrigued by the “Embrace my perfectionism” resolution which let to their What Kind of Perfectionist Are You? quiz. I took it and tied between Classic Perfectionist and Messy Perfectionist, which means I’m highly organized and reliable, but sometimes struggle with follow-through when distracted by new passions — which is true! So I’m embracing it.  — CD 

I think wisdom can be given by a person of any age or gender, but as a woman turning 40 I was really grateful to hear these experienced lessons from a 44-year-old woman. Below are a few of them. — CD  

• Start or end every day with writing about your life. There’s always something buried underneath the to do list in your head, something you didn’t realise you felt, that when written down, will make everything clearer.

• Allow friendships to come and go. Don’t cling onto friendships because they are old. Cling on to them because they bring you joy and comfort and laughter.

• The small details of your day matter. Be it your first cup of coffee in the morning,  or the way you make your bed, or a walk through the park on the way to work, life is year upon year of stacked up small joys like these. Take pleasure and pride in them.

• Put your phone down.
  Put your phone down.
  Put your phone down.

I find keeping in mind my estimated death date greatly helps me focus on important things. This website by World Data Lab will quickly give you your estimated longevity, calculated from actuarial tables. How long you live varies depending on where you live. I turn this date into how many days I have left and use it as a countdown clock. — KK

This infograph titled “8 Factors of Happiness” is worthy of revisiting whenever you notice discomfort. I’ve found the quickest way to dispel unhappiness is to ask myself introspective questions to find the source. Based on these 8 factors of happiness, I would ask myself: 

• Am I feeling suspicion and resentment? 

• Am I living in the past (or in the future)? 

• Am I wasting time and energy fighting conditions I can’t change? 

• Am I isolating myself or withdrawing from the world? 

• Am I indulging in self-pity? 

• Am I expecting too much of myself? 

I then continue the line of questioning to gain more self-awareness or I pivot to an easy gratitude practice, like listing 10 things that make me happy on my fingers. This usually gets me out of my head and back to the present moment, as well as in alignment with the values and experiences that make me happy. — CD