If you define success in the conventional ways – wealth, fame, accomplishments — then Sam Altman has a great list of tips on How to Be Successful that are very helpful in nudging you in that direction. Altman is the co-founder of OpenAI and ChatGPT, but he published this essay five years ago before he was “successful.” — KK

I am a reserved guy. I envy people who can toss off compliments to strangers, making their day. To help me get better at this I’ve been watching British comedian Troy Hawke greet random strangers on the street, showering them with creative, witty, genuine compliments. It is a joy to see strangers shine when praised for a small thing. Hawke’s tiktok/instagram performances, in mustache and smoking jacket, are genius and hard to beat, but his antics have inspired me to be more generous in sharing compliments. — KK

Someone on Reddit asked “What’s your best advice from your profession?” and below is a summary of the most upvoted answers. — CD

• Doctor: Never be afraid to get a second opinion. If your doctor is offended, that's one more reason to get one.

• Teacher: Read to your kids from infancy, make books commonplace, and point out things in the pictures. This helps them develop literacy skills from an early age.

• Plumber: Check your basement weekly for leaks or signs of damage, and change your air filter regularly.

• Auto insurance adjuster: Get a dashcam to protect yourself in case of accidents or disputes.

• Librarian: Ditch Audible and get a library card to listen to free audiobooks. Many libraries offer apps where you can download audiobooks straight to your phone.

• Government worker: Find life satisfaction outside of the workplace.

• Sales: Never celebrate until the money is in your account, regardless of how many times the client said yes or if there are signed documents.

• HR: Underpromise, overdeliver, and keep your mouth shut to maintain a good reputation at work.

I love reading people’s collections of advice and have recommended many of them in Recomendo. Here’s a list called 100 Things I Know, by writer and artist Mari Andrew. 

Examples:

• If you’re in an argument that’s going in circles, suggest switching roles: “I make your point, and you make mine.” It helps with empathy, yes, but also brings humor and levity to a strained situation.

• If you’re stuck in a place or situation you hate, see what you can do there for others. I learned this through experience: When I hated working at a law firm, I’d think of ways to brighten my co-workers’ days. When I hated living in [City Name Redacted], I signed up to teach ESL lessons.

• If you never learned how to dance at parties/weddings/clubs, you can teach yourself by watching videos of Motown and girl groups of the 60s. The songs are slow and the moves are simple enough to follow along to. You’ll get the rhythm and the basics down, then it’s easy to start embellishing with your own style. I identify as a good dancer, and I learned everything I know from spending a summer watching live performances of The Supremes.

— MF

In this 5-minute video by Big Think, Author Luke Burgis breaks down the difference between “thick” and “thin” desires and introduces the concept of mimetic desires. Mimetic desires are imitative and influenced by our external life, like our parents, friends and community. They are considered thin because they are ephemeral and not worth feeding. Thick desires are the ones that are aligned with our core and universal human truths, like growth and beauty and kindness. Burgis suggests it’s worth mining your life and reflecting on moments when you felt deeply fulfilled in order to identify patterns that point to what you really want. Lately, whenever I feel pulled toward a particular direction, I ask myself if this is a thin or thick desire and then decide if it’s worth my time and effort. — CD

For the past year, I’ve been a participant of ACER Integration — an online community and framework created by clinical psychologist Dr Rosalind Watts. The program follows a year-long, nature-based integration cycle. Every new month gives me access to guided visualizations, live sharing circles via Zoom, breathwork sessions and Q&As with some of the most prominent minds and voices in the psychedelic space. The community is not a substitute for therapy and it does not encourage psychedelic use — only a deeper connection to nature, ourselves and each other. ACER stands for Accept, Connect, Embody and Relate. For me it’s been an invaluable space to integrate life experiences alongside deeply compassionate, grounded and like-minded people from all over the world. And as I wrap up my 13-month cycle, I highly recommend anyone feeling called to connect with a community like this to check out the info pack and apply. ACER opens up to new members in October and applications are now being accepted. If you do apply, be sure to mention Recomendo in your application. ACER will offer a discount to Recomendo readers who are accepted into the program. — CD

I took The Five Senses Quiz created by Gretchen Rubin, author of “Life in Five in Senses”  and it identified my most neglected sense as Hearing. I was also given interesting suggestions on how to enhance my “neglected” sense. For starters, I’ve been ditching my AirPods when I walk my dog. I’m not accustomed to quizzes that tell me my shortcomings rather than strengths, but I appreciate becoming aware of my areas of neglect, because it motivates me towards improvement. — CD 

This online collection of motivational videos made by artist Michelle Ellsworth are incredibly intimate and funny and comforting to watch. They offer advice on personal problems and creative struggles and interpersonal relationships. They are unedited and around 2-5 minutes long. It doesn’t seem to be updated and not all the videos load, but it’s worth spending some time on if you need something uplifting. I clicked on a few titles that grabbed me and each one made me smile and made me feel more forgiving toward myself. — CD

In their most recent newsletter, Clearer Thinking put together a list of eleven of the most popular approaches to "happiness" and their techniques. The approaches are: Positive Psychology, Stoicism, Common Sense, Christianity, Insight Meditation, Traditionalism, Introspection, Self-Help Books, Hedonism, Altruism, and Community. I realized I checked off every technique under Introspection (Find a way to look at the world that resonates with you) and Common Sense (Sleep enough) and quite a few under Hedonism (Remember that you get just one life, so you might as well enjoy it). Three approaches that I made up for my own life and that keep me happy are: 1. Investigate my own intentions and make sure they are aligned with the highest good possible. 2. Take naps on the grass with my pets. 3. Find something to celebrate everyday. (Even if it’s just pouring myself a glass of champagne after the work day.) — CD

I’ve been reading Oneness by Rasha and I was really struck by the effectiveness of one of her allegories called The Plate of Life — where you imagine Life as a plate at a buffet table of experiences. Rasha suggests working backwards from the end of your life to now and consider what experiences you choose to put on your plate to create the life you want. I shared the full excerpt here on Twitter, which can be better viewed on a desktop. — CD

I took this mini-quiz to find out if I'm living my life in the "fast lane." The quiz is based on research of how fast pedestrians walk along a 60-foot stretch of pavement in different cities, and how that affects pacing in other aspects of life. Turns out I am somewhere in the middle. I scored a 37. — CD

Rather than making new year’s resolutions, I answered these seven pairs of questions, structured as a “Personal Annual Report” in this downloadable PDF created by Shane Parrish at Farnam Street. For instance, “What can I do this year that will leave me in a better position for next year?” The quick exercise is worth doing once a year.  — KK

This new tool by the Clearer Thinking team helped me discover and build a list of my own guiding principles. Your principles are what guides you when making decisions and if you know what they are, you can have less anxiety surrounding decisions and make them faster. Here are a few questions and principles that influence my decisions:

• Choose life-expanding choices over comfort.

• Ask yourself how this serves your growth.

• Can I accept the consequences of this choice? If I can, that is true freedom.

• What would my fully-actualized self do?

• When in doubt, opt for the natural path over the forced path.

— CD

If you’re not the type to make resolutions for the new year, you might like this list of 27 Life-Changing Micro Habits That Require Only A Few Minutes. Here are some of them: Vow to walk around for two minutes every hour you sit at your desk. Start each workday with five long and deep breaths to calm your mind and get ready for the day ahead. Practice gratitude while you’re in the shower. Write for two minutes in the morning as you drink your coffee. — CD

Talking Points for Life has all the advice you could ever need for all kinds of uncomfortable conversations. Like exact wording on how to decline a request for money (“I’m sorry, I have a personal boundary of not mixing money and friends.”) or techniques on redirecting negative conversations by bridging (“However, the real issue here is…”). There is also a page on “How to encourage someone to answer your question instead of saying, ‘I don’t know’” which is kind of a pet peeve of mine. — CD 

According to this Guardian article, “regular doses of awe may be vital to our wellbeing and make us nicer people.” The article includes a list of different ways to experience the shivery, goosebumpy feeling of awe, including attending live performances by skilled people, watching nature documentaries, and listening to music that gives you the chills. — MF

Dru Riley has put together a list of 100 useful rules for making life more rewarding. — MF

Samples:

• “Read and listen to whatever you’re most interested in.” — We get more out of what interests us. Find something that you enjoy reading instead of struggling through books.

• “IDK = No” — If you’re uncertain, the answer should probably be no.

• “Don’t make them think.” — Make it obvious.

• “Price affects risk.” — If an experiment is cheap, just do it. The more the price goes up, the more you should reconsider.

This list of rules of thumb will help you make better decisions faster. Here are some examples. — MF

• When faced with two paths, choose the path that puts you in the arena. Once you’re in the arena, never take advice from people on the sidelines.

• When choosing between two paths, choose the path that has a larger luck surface area.

• If you have a choice between entering two rooms, choose the room where you’re more likely to be the dumbest one in the room. Once you’re in the room, talk less and listen more. Bad for your ego—great for your growth.

Milan Cvitkovic’s long list of “things you’re allowed to do,” is chock-full of fun and surprising tips and suggestions. Here are a few:

• Write on a post-it note affixed to a greeting card rather than on the greeting card itself, so the recipient can throw away the post-it and reuse your card

• Cold contact people. Yes, even famous people. Just make sure you have something to say.

• Learn how professionals email by reading leaked emails [from Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Sunny Balwani, Mark Zuckerberg, etc.].

— MF

Here are a few favorites from ideopunk’s list of 100 useful tips:

• “Where is the good knife?” If you’re looking for your good X, you have bad Xs. Throw those out.

• Discipline is superior to motivation. The former can be trained, the latter is fleeting. You won’t be able to accomplish great things if you’re only relying on motivation.

• Sturgeon’s law states that 90% of everything is crap. If you dislike poetry, or fine art, or anything, it’s possible you’ve only ever seen the crap. Go looking!

— MF