Anne-Laure of Ness Labs has a great post on the exercise of writing your own eulogy as a blueprint for your future. The process of writing down the exact values and accomplishments you want to be remembered for can provide clarity as to the small steps you can take today to create that narrative. Her post provides example questions to help you draft a eulogy and it’s up to you to work backwards to take action. I also spent about 25 minutes using this free step-by-step guide to writing my own obituary (angstrom.life/goals) and when I was done I was given a mission statement to create the imaginary legacy I want to leave behind. My life goals are very simple: write more poetry, which is something I yell at myself everyday, and to perfect my poor drawing skills so that I can create the stories that won’t stop gnawing at me. — CD

I consider myself well-versed in figuring out people’s love languages, but I was surprised to find out that there was such a thing as an apology language. I took this free quiz and discovered that I am most receptive of apologies that “Accept Responsibility” meaning simply saying “I was wrong.” The other types of apology languages are “Genuinely Repent,” “Expressing Regret,” “Make Restitution,” and “Request Forgiveness.” — CD

This free iOS app called Breathwrk makes it incredibly easy to start a consistent habit of daily breath exercises. I schedule to practice different methods of breathing for different times of the day. Like “Awake” to get energized at 7AM, and “Unwind” to reduce stress at 5PM. This is one of the few apps from which I enjoy receiving reminder notifications. What I appreciate the most about this app is that there are different sounds played for the duration of breathing in and exhaling, and this lets me just close my eyes and focus on breathing. — CD

Sometimes my obstacle is when I’ve taken something personally that shouldn’t be. Like when my husband asks me if I unloaded the dishwasher “yet” and I interpret it as an all-out attack on my productivity. My therapist has advised me to listen to the request, not the tone. But that’s easy to forget. Here is a good printout to keep nearby if you also struggle with the same thing. — CD

Julie Zhuo, Product Design VP at Facebook, asked “What’s your most important life lesson that you wish you learned ten years earlier?” and Twitter answered. My favorite replies were “Better understand your inner child issues so that your subconscious becomes conscious.” — @AmandaMGoetz, and “The grass is always greener because it’s been fertilised with bullsh*t. Enjoy what you have.” — @pTah_XV. Here’s the full thread. — CD

One of the most effective visualization techniques to quickly destress is to imagine I am a mountain and every annoying, stressful thing is just floating past me like clouds or momentary bad weather. I remind myself that I am a mountain and my purpose is to just sit and be myself and nothing can sway me. You can find a lot of these “mountain meditations” on Youtube. Here is a short example I like and found on Aura. — CD

Tiny Spells is a daily self-care email that feels like it’s sent from your best friend. Every day Joan Westenberg sends out three simple things you can do for yourself to make your day and self better, like reminders to take a stretch break, make the doctors appointment you’ve been avoiding, buying yourself fresh flowers, or finding something that makes you laugh. It has a magical effect and I look forward to it every day. — CD

Earlier this week book author Caroline Moss tweeted, “If you go to therapy quote tweet this with the best thing you learned at therapy that way everyone else can get free therapy.” The hundreds of replies are filled with excellent advice. Examples:

• Don’t react. Sit with it until you know what you feel. Sit with it.

• It’s ok to not be busy and to not offer to others a reason I do or don’t do each thing.

• Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing things that you hadn’t learned yet.

• Anxiety causes me to put things off a lot and in group therapy we worked on “the 15 minute rule”. If something feels impossibly overwhelming I set a timer to work on it for 15 minutes and that takes away that “I’m about to swan dive into a bottomless hole” feeling.

• The only things I owe people are straightforwardness and kindness.

— MF

This YouTube video about Oprah breaks down her magical ability to make people comfortable with their raw emotions. She does this by not trying to defuse tension, and instead validating people when they are the most vulnerable. There’s a bunch of other tips for having meaningful interactions, but the narrator suggests that the most important thing to focus on is to discover is what moves people emotionally. — CD

Ikigai is a Japanese word that can be roughly translated into English as “a reason for being.” I appreciated this graphic, which shows how ikigai is at the intersection of what you love, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you’re good at. — MF

This article titled “1 simple trick to be happier"is not clickbait — it’s sound advice. It suggests that because your happiness level is more dependent on the frequency of positive events, rather than the intensity, you should be creating a daisy chain of happiness-inducing events all day long. "Think of some of the small delights that bring you joy — whether it’s a certain song, a photo from a gathering with friends, or even a pen that writes like a dream — and try intentionally placing them throughout your day.” I have a running list of 100 things that bring me joy that I pull up when needed. On the top of my list is hugging my dog and cuddling (mostly bugging) my cat. — CD

It can be very hard to check in with yourself when you have anxiety or having a bad day. This is a very simple checklist for self-care that I found floating around Reddit. — CD

If you’re in the United States and need someone to talk to you can text 741741 any hour of the day and be connected with a crisis counselor (For Canada text 686868, and for UK text 85258). My sister-in-law volunteers for the Crisis Text Line, and she said counselors go through continuous training and are always supervised by mental health professionals. I tested it out to make sure it works and the first text was automated, but I was connected with a live person in less than 2 minutes. I hope I don’t need it, but I’m relieved to know that it’s there. For more info check out their website: crisistextline.org. — CD

I love the concept of Hey, From the Future, a website that lets you share advice you wish you had at specific ages. I encourage everyone to contribute. I read all the advice that is posted from age 35 and up, and from what I gathered I need to spend more money traveling and more time with my parents and the people I really like. Also, it’s not too late to [fill in the blank]. Whatever you’ve always wanted to do. You can still do it. — CD

I like the Gottman Card Decks app because it requires minimal effort to use, it’s not awkward and it actually helps me get to know my husband better. There are 14 decks to choose from. Some of them have interesting questions to help you start a conversation, others have ideas for improving your relationship, or there are phrases to help you word what you’re having trouble expressing. It’s free and a great way to connect with your partner and work on your communication skills. — CD

I started a “stress note” in my Notes app where I keep a list of whatever I’m anxious about. Anytime I add something new I reread my past worries and if they no longer matter (which is usually the case), instead of deleting them I apply the strikethrough style. There is something very calming and self-affirming in doing this, and as the list grows I actually find it very beautiful to look at. — CD

I am hoping I’ll get better at communicating my emotions by studying this chart. It is a mind map of the 6 core emotions we feel and all the other emotions that branch off of them. — CD

This list of 88 important truths are all aha moments for me. My top three are: 5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly. 16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful. And 86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself. — CD

This Gottman Institute blog post has some examples of phrases to help de-escalate arguments with your partner. I wish it wasn’t so hard to say “I’m sorry” when I’m in the wrong, but these workarounds help steer heated conversations back on track. — CD

“Pyt” is now in my vocabulary thanks to this Fast Company article. It doesn’t have an English translation, but Danes use it as an interjection to frustrations or mishaps. It means something like “Oh, well,” and is used as a reset button to accept the situation and refocus rather than react. I like it because it sounds like a cute short curse word. — CD